[joke] Puppy in heat

There was this little girl who got a new puppy and wanted to take her
for a walk really bad, so she goes into the kitchen and asks mom,
"Mommy can I take the puppy for a walk, please."

Mom says: "Honey, it's not a good idea, she is in heat."

With a look of confusion mom says quickly, "Go ask your father, he is
in the garage."

So the little girl finds her dad. "Daddy, mommy says the puppy is in
heat and to ask you if I can take her for a walk."

The dad looked around, gab a rag and a gas can to put a little gas on
the rag then patted it on the puppy.

"O.k., now you can take her for a walk."

When the girl came home with no puppy the dad asked, "Where is your new puppy?"

And she answered, "She ran out of gas and the other dogs are pushing her home."

‎50 Years Of Bad Sex!

Grampa & Grandma were sitting at the table. Grandma gets up suddenly, rolls up her newspaper & proceeds 2 slap Grampa upside the head.

He says, What was that 4?

Grandma says, That's for 50 years of bad sex.

Grampa sits there muttering, rolls up his newspaper, & goes over & slaps Grandma upside the head.

She says, Now what's that 4?

He says, That's 4 knowing the difference!