Munni badnaam hui Vs Shiela ki Jawani

PARAMETERS	MUNNI	SHIELA
Branding	Munni is Badnaam	Shiela is Jawaan
Place of performance	Munni gyrated in some Desi Daaru ka Adda	Shiela gyrated in some metropolitan Disco Bar
Demand- Supply Concept	Munni is offering herself easily (Refer Line: Darling tere liye). So huge supply. Demand will be limited.	Shielais not available easily. (Refer Line; Mal to khud se pyaar jatau tere haath kabhi na aani). So low supply. Huge Demand.
Dance Style	Munni repeated age old "latka- jhatka". (Argh.. Every 2 item no. has this)	Shiela shook her booty with drumbeats. (Wow... Something new)
Mathematical & Psychological Analysis	Munni is sleek (Though Indians invented zero. but it doesn't mean we like zero figure...)	Shielais voluptuous. (Yeah... that's the perfect graphical representation)

You should know you use the computer too much when....

1. You wake up at 4 O'clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and stop to check your email on the way back

to bed.

2. You turn off your computer and get an awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

3. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access.

4. You laugh at people with 28.8 modems.

5. You start using smileys in your snail mail.

6. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com

7. You can't correspond with your mother because she doesn't have a computer.

8. When your email box shows "no new messages" and you feel really depressed.

9. You don't know the gender of your three closest friends because they have non-descript screen name and you never bothered to ask.

10. You move into a new house and you decide to "Netscape" before you landscape.

11. Your family always knows where you are.

12. In real life conversations, you don't laugh, you just say "LOL, LOL"

13. After reading this message, you immediately forward it to a friend!

1. You wake up at 4 O'clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and stop to check your email on the way back

to bed.

2. You turn off your computer and get an awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

3. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access.

4. You laugh at people with 28.8 modems.

5. You start using smileys in your snail mail.

6. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com

7. You can't correspond with your mother because she doesn't have a computer.

8. When your email box shows "no new messages" and you feel really depressed.

9. You don't know the gender of your three closest friends because they have non-descript screen name and you never bothered to ask.

10. You move into a new house and you decide to "Netscape" before you landscape.

11. Your family always knows where you are.

12. In real life conversations, you don't laugh, you just say "LOL, LOL"

13. After reading this message, you immediately forward it to a friend!

Actual court room conversations from the USA

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

Women in the security forces

Pictures of beautiful women serving in the security forces (army, navy, police among others) in their respective countries.

Algeria

Australia

Top Male professions

The Doctor because he says, "Take off your clothes"

The Dentist because he says, "Open Wide"

The Hairdresser because he says, "Do you want it teased or blown"

The Milkman because he says, "Do you want it in front or in back?"

The Interior Decorator because he says, "Once you have it all in, you'll love it."

The Banker because he says, "If you take it out to soon, you'll lose interest."

The Police Officer because he says, "Spread 'em".

The Mailman because he always delivers his package.

The Pilot because he takes off fast and then slows down.

The Hunter because he always goes deep in the bush and shoots twice.

A second generation Indian's version of Ramayana

A young second generation Indian in the US was asked by his mother to
explain the significance of "Diwali" to his younger brother, this is
how he went about it.....

"So, there was a guy called 'Ram', this dude had a big cool kingdom
and people liked him. But, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a
bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, to
some national forest or something.... Since he was going, for
something like more than 10 years or so.... he decided to get his wife
and his bro along.... you know...so that they could all chill out
together. But

Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary shit... really man...they had
monkeys and devils and all the shit like that. But this macho dude,
Ram, kicked them with darts and bows and arrows... so it was coool.

But then some bad gangstar boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his
babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, our man, and also
his bro, Lax man,were reeealy pissed off... all the gods were with
him... So anyways, we won't mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro got
an army of monkeys...

Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys.... just go along
with me, OK...

So, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whipped this gangsta's ass in his own
hood....Anyways, by this time, their time was up in the forest... and
anyways... it gets kinda boring, you know... no TV or malls or other
stuffs. So, they decided to hitch a ride back home... and when the
people realized that the macho dude, his bro and his babe are back
home.... they thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something
nice... and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days... so
they couldn't take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to
smoke and stuff ... and since they also had some lamps, they lit the
lamps also...so it was pretty cooool... you know wIth all those
fireworks and puff.... Really, they even had some local band play
along with the fireworks... And, so dude, that was how, like, this
festival started.

The mother fainted.........