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Things you never needed to know

VERY INTERESTING STUFF

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to
beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have
'the rule of thumb'
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Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled
'Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden'...and thus the word GOLF entered
into the English language.
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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were
Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S . Treasury.
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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
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Coca-Cola was originally green.
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It is impossible to lick your elbow.
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The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)
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The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
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The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400
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The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour:
61,000
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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
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The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in
the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in
the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If
the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural
causes.
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Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th,
John Hancock and Charles Thomson.

Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't
added until 5 years later.
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Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace
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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat
name requested?

A. Obsession
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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go
until you would find the letter 'A'?

A. One thousand
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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and
laser printers all have in common?

A. All were invented by women.
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Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey
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Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?

A. Father's Day
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In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by
ropes.When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the
bed firmer to sleep on.

Hence the phrase......... 'goodnight, sleep tight.'
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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a
month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his
son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and
because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the
honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old
England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them
'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.'It's where we get the
phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'
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Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into
the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill,
they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the
phrase inspired by this practice.
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At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!
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PRICELESS WORDS

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees
is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. He looks around the room and sees that
it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping.
Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and
sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.
Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye
when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks,
"So, why is everything in order and so clean, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off,
you said,

"LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"
Moral
Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk – "PRICELESS "
 
There are truly some things that both money and Mastercard  can't buy

what you see is NOT always what you get (WYSINWYG)

Bihari Essay "Indian Cow"

You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this. This is a true essay written by a Bihari candidate at the UPSC Examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow:

Indian Cow

HE IS THE COW. 'The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed, And because he is female, he give milks, [ but will do so when he is got child.] He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. [ horses dont have any such attachment]

What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species, Also his other motion.. gober] is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making flat cakes[like Pizza] , in hand and drying in the sun.

Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards. He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohesive body hereupon he gives hit with it.

The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts . His eyes and nose are like his other relatives. This is the cow.......

We are informed that the candidate somehow passed the exam, and is now is bihar in somewhere..[sorry somewhere in Bihar]

for the luv of condoms!

Body: virgin girl is on the phone and asks her boyfriend to come over and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

* * * * * * * * *
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
* * * * * * * * *
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
* * * * * * * * *
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

* * * * * * * * *
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

* * * * * * * * *
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

* * * * * * * * *

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy

* * * * * * * * *

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

* * * * * * * *
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

weird video