"Man with glass house must dress in basement!"
A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.
Baseball is wrong - man with four balls cannot walk.
Grease monkey who go to bed without bathing wake up oily in the morning.
Confucius say too damn much.
Don't drink and park, accidents cause people.
Don't eat the snow where the huskies go!
Elevator smell different to midget.
Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.
Everyone has a photographic memory, some people just don't have film!
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
He who makes love in grass, gets piece on earth.
He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
He who stands on toilet, is high on pot.
He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing
Hole happy, whole body happy.
It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
Man standing on toilet is high on pot.
Man that go to bed with itchy butt wake up with sticky fingers!
Man that is stuck in pantry has his ass in jam.
Man who behaves like an ass will be the butt of those who crack jokes.
Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Man who farts in church sits in his own pew!
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
Man who jumps off cliff, jumps to conclusion!
Man who live in glass house should not throw parties!
Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who lose key to apartment not get new key.
Man who put head on Railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who sit on tack get point!
Man who stick foot in mouth get athlete's tongue!
Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes will soon burn out!
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with full house.
Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
Secretary not permanent fixture until screwed on top of desk
Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!
Thank you to Gary Oaksford for this contribution.
Those who quote me are fools.
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
War does not determine who's right, war determines who's left.
War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
When called an idiot sometimes is better to be quiet, than open mouth and remove all doubt.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
Work to become, not to acquire.
