Fwd: FW: Only In Pakistan

InnOvative aDs

Sardarji's Mom's Letter !!!

Dear  banta
Vahe  Guru !

I am in a well here and hoping you are in the same well there. I'm  writing this letter slowly, because I know you  cannot read fast.

We  don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in  the newspaper  that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved  20 miles.

I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who  stayed here  took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have  to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able  to bring  our earlier address plate here, so that our address will remain  same too.

This  place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated  right above  the commode. I'm not sure it works. Last week I put in 3  shirts, pulled  the chain and haven't seen them since.

The  weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The  first time  it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The  coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little  too heavy  to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off  and put  them in the pocket.

Your  father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting  the grass  at the cemetery.

By  the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is  really badmash.  He told her that two-piece swimming suit is not allowed in  this club.  We were confused as to which piece should we remove?

Your  sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is  a girl  or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or  Uncle.

Your  uncle, Jetinder fell in a nearby well. Some men tried to pull him  out, but  he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he  burned for  three days.

Your  best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill  his father's  last wishes. His father had wished to be buried at sea after  he died.  And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for  his father.  

There  isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has  happened.

P.S:  Beta, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized,  I had  already sealed off this letter.

Mobile/Cell Safety

There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it. J

For Emergency

The Emergency Number worldwide for **Mobile** is 112

If you find yourself out of coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you,

and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. **Try it out.**

Have you locked your keys in the car? Does your car have remote keys?

This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone:

If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone.

Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end.. Your car will unlock.

Saves someone for having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other "remote" for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).

Hidden battery power

Imagine your cell battery is very low , you are expecting an important call and you don't have a charger.

Nokia instrument comes with a reserve battery.

To activate, press the keys *3370#

Your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a50%increase in battery.

This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell next time …

How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?

To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone:

* # 0 6 #

A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. when your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code.. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless.

You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either.

Be careful while using your mobile phone

When you try to call someone through mobile phone, don't put your mobile closer to your ears until the recipient answers. Because directly after dialing, the mobile phone would use its maximum signaling power, which is: 2 watts = 33dbi, Plz Be Careful, Message as received (Save your brain) Please use left ear while using cell (mobile), because if you use the right one it will affect brain directly. This is a true fact from Apollo medical team.

Please spread this useful information around. You may save someone's life, you never know.

Thank you for your attention.

Weird question from weirdos for weirdos =]

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?     

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
What is the speed of darkness?
Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
Do you cry under water?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder......

 
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" 
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?   
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?   
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?  
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ??  
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me !!!!)   
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from ?   
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ?  
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?   
Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .  
 Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?   
 Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at  you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?  

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?  

beg to differ?. comment all you want!!!

The perks of Thinking Out of the Box

Below are some interview questions asked during an HR session. The answers are quite witty and may land you a job.

Question 1: You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night,it's raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:

• An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
• An old friend who once saved your life.
• The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.
  

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car?

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to ! pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. Guess what was his answer?

He simply answered, "I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital.I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside the Box."

Question 2: What will you do if I run away with your sister?"

The candidate who was selected answered " I will not get a better match for my sister than you sir"

Question 3: Interviewer (to a student girl candidate) - What is one morning you woke up found that you were pregnant.

Girl - I will be very excited and take an off, to celebrate with my husband.

Normally an unmarried girl will be shocked to hear this, but she managed it well. Why I should think it in the wrong way, she said later when asked

Question 4: Interviewer: He ordered a cup of coffee for the candidate.Coffee arrived kept before the candidate, then he asked what is before you?

Candidate: Instantly replied "Tea"

He got selected.

You know how and why did he say "TEA" when he knows very well that coffee was kept before.

(Answer: The question was "What is before you (U - alphabet) "U" Reply was "TEA" ( T - alphabet)

Question 5: Where Lord Rama would have celebrated his "First Diwali"?

People will start thinking of Ayodya, Mitila [Janaki's place], Lanka etc...

But the logic is, Diwali was a celebrated as a mark of Lord Krishna Killing Narakasura.In Dusavataar, Krishnavathaar comes after Raamavathaar.

So, Lord Rama would not have celebrated the Diwali At all!

Question 6: The interviewer asked to the candidate "This is your last question of the interview. Please tell me the exact position of the center of this table where u have kept your files."

Candidate confidently put one of his finger at some point at the table and told that this was the central point at the table.Interviewer asked how did u get to know that this being the central point of this table,then he answers quickly that sir u r not likely to ask any more question, as it was the last question that u promised to ask.....

And hence, he was selected as because of his quick wits.

This is What an Interviewer expects from the Interviewee. ....

"THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX"

What happens, when you plug it in the wrong hole =]

Diary Of a Young Bride

Monday:
Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home.
It's fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel food cake and the recipe said, "beat 12 eggs separately." Well, I didn't have enough bowls to do that, so I had to borrow 12 bowls to beat the eggs in. The cake turned out fine though.

Tuesday:
We wanted a fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, "serve without dressing." So I didn't dress. But Tim happened to bring a friend home for supper that night. They both looked so startled when I served them, I think it was the salad.

Wednesday:
I decided to serve rice and found a recipe which said, "wash thoroughly before steaming the rice." So I heated some water and took a bath before steaming the rice. Sounded kinda silly in the middle of the day. I can't say it improved the rice anyhow.

Thursday:
Today Tim asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe.

It said, prepare ingredients,
then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving." I hunted all over the place for a garden and when I got one, I tossed my salad into the bed of lettuce and stood over there for over one hour so the dog would not take it. Tim came over and asked if I felt all right.I wonder why? He must be stressed at work, I'll try to be supportive.

Friday:
Today I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, "put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it." Beat it I did,to my mum's place. There must have been something wrong with the recipe, because when I came back home again, it looked the same as when I left it.

Saturday:
Tim went shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I'm sure I don't know how hens dress for Sunday. I never noticed back on the farm, but I found an old doll dress and it's little cute shoes. I thought the hen looked really cute. When Tim saw it, he started counting to ten. Either he was really
stressed because of his work, or he wanted the chicken to dance.

When I asked him what was wrong he started crying and shouting out "why me? why me ?"

Hmmm....It must be his job.

Fwd: Why kids are cute and u aren't?

You need a smile

__,_._,___